Fun Stuff > GoaTease > Rage, Fear, Luck.
The following was left anonymously on the GoaTease Yahoo group.
Dear GoaTease,
…The following is a true account of the events of this afternoon…
I was running errands while giving The GoaTease Chain Tape my 6th listen in my car. I had stopped at a copy shop to cut out the CD case inserts, and I was now on my way to my favorite used CD shop with all 7 discs nicely packaged for their lucky finders. I had decided to take that random anonymous transmission of the chain tape as suggested in the "THIRTEEN THINGS THAT WILL ENHANCE YOUR LISTENING ENJOYMENT". Suddenly I found myself entangled in a very frightening road rage incident. Admittedly, I did something rash that could have earned me a ticket for driving through a crosswalk while pedestrians occupied it. But for want of a police officer, the universe inserted a hotheaded vigilante into the scene. Bad luck? We don't know yet. The day's events could have been favorably rearranged in as yet unseen ways by this incident.
Several blocks later I checked my rear view mirror and saw a man fast gaining on me. This was a four-lane divided street. He wedged himself between my car and the bus in the lane to my right, cut in front of me, and brought his car to an abrupt stop. I had no idea what he was chasing me for. He was furious. He started to get out of his car, so I backed away. He was yelling and staring at me with his eyes bulging out of his head. He seemed to have some difficulty sizing up the situation and he got back in his car and started driving again. At the next intersection (a red light) he was in the lane beside me and he got out of his car and stood there not sure what he was going to do next while I lagged behind in the left lane watching him. He reached into his car for something… I was thinking, "My god is he going to draw a weapon?" When the light turned green I drove by him as he dialed a number into his cell phone.
Once again he caught up to me. He drove beside me now calmer because he was on the phone giving the police my plate number. Keep in mind that I was listening to The GoaTease Chain Tape while all this was happening. I turned the volume down in the middle of track 8, Stereotype Dandelion, as I rolled down my passenger side window and yelled over to him, "Tell me what you think I did. What did I do?" He said, "You swerved at that kid in the crosswalk!" In reality, I drove AROUND the person in the crosswalk. But this self-righteous vigilante needed to see more than was true in order to justify his wrath.
I contested his observations as we pulled up to another red light. Now he jumped out of his car and started to reach for my open passenger window. So I fled. I pulled into the left turn lane and went around a standing car's rear and made what was either a very dangerous left turn or one that was very luckily timed. If there had been any cross traffic I would have been dead meat, but all traffic seemed to be standing in that brief interval between light changes. So I went for it with tires sliding on wet sand and pavement.
Now I found myself in a warehouse district on the north side of the interstate freeway. I turned left at the first street knowing that if I made another quick turn I could be out of his sight for at least a few seconds. I panicked on panic thinking I might box myself in some loading zone without any outlet but the way I came in. I just kept making as many turns as possible in an intuitive southeast direction to increase the odds that my pursuer would make a false turn. As luck would have it, I breathlessly found my way to the freeway and sped across the river on an alternate route to the disc store. I kept thinking, "I need to get rid of the chain tape, the damn thing is hexed. I have had it for more than 7 days now."
I found myself holding back my laughter and relief as I walked out of the disc store empty handed. It was not unlike the rushy feeling of shoplifting, but in this case rather than taking something that was not mine, I was leaving something that was not theirs. The chain goes on. May the good luck of The GoaTease find many!
As I document my day's tale of rage and fear and luck I am beginning my 7th listen to The GoaTease Chain Tape. I am not going to leave the house until I hear the last notes of Original Master Work Volume One fade to silence.
Anon,
Anonymous